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";s:4:"text";s:21143:"Car. Relaying the story to my friend later, I told her, "I guess the dealership should have given me a....spoiler alert.". "I AM NOT HAPPY!!! That's when the fight started. Mean old Mr. Periwinkle promptly picks them up, throws them up against the wall, breaks the vase and flowers go everywhere. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other one says. Bergler420. Maze Puns. Q: What was the last thing to go through the bug's mind when he hit the windshield> A: His rear I hope these puns aren't bumming you out, they're just for the crack. ', So I said, 'Well, which one are you then?’, He said, "I'm not happy." "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other one says. It's all behind me now. Here are related puns: Hatch ��� Hatchback: As in, ���Down the hatchback ��� and ���Batten down the hatchbacks.��� Back ��� Hatchback: As in, ���Answer hatchback ��� and ���As soon as my hatchback is turned��� and ���In the hatchback of my mind.��� Rim: Here are some rim-related puns: So he says,"All I smell is molasses!". The litigator responded, "I shot a. One is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. At this point, the victim of the joke is supposed to ask what he did with the toe. I pulled over to rescue the cooler, and when I opened it, I found a human toe, on ice. 142,806 jokes 59,374 thumbs up 5,438 active users 825 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links Related Topics Became Breasts Pregnancy Pregnant Rear-end Since Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, doglegs right around an old barn. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. I'm smiling so hard as I go through these. Then which one are you?”. Take a knife, cut a lit... read more What do you call the rear end of a part man, part lion? He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. Bubble Butt: A person whose rear end is spherical, and protrudes upwards and outwards, usually out of proportion with the rest of their body. side. You tell that man he���s gonna pay ��� After he had checked out of the hotel late at night, 2 muggers have robbed his purse, mo and notebook, leaving him behind with his luggage. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. ", So my dad, and I were driving and we past a gay bar in my town. Even if you don’t know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you. (I hope everyone understands "mooning" is when someone gets their rear end out, dunno if it's just a British term), I might have assthma, butt it could be type two diabooties. I bought a 2004 VW Beetle Turbo a few months ago. Acer: Yeah! Tail: The tail is the section at the rear end of certain kinds of animals��� bodies; in general, the term refers to a distinct, flexible appendage to the torso ... Related Keywords backside puns behind puns rear puns posterior puns rear end puns rump puns end puns tail puns bottom puns butt puns last puns back puns seat puns prat puns keister puns tush puns hindquarters puns arse puns fundament puns fanny puns A list of Lunar puns! 1. While driving down the road, I heard a sort of mechanical shifting sound whenever I went over 45 MPH. Bum: … We both pulled over, and a dwarf got out of the other car. He got out of the car and told me "he was not happy" So I asked, "which one are you"? And while i was there i shot and killed a lion, i decided to take it back to england with me so i could have it preserved but it was damaged in transit and only the rear end could be taxidermied, the rest had to be diaposed of. Just kidding I'm back.... The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF! See more ideas about funny cute, animal memes, cute reptiles. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. Once upon a time, when I was a wee lad, still in Boy Scouts, I went on a camping trip to Montana with my troop. Gas Station Jokes A fellow stopped at a rural gas station. Old-timers are still allowed to call it Alana. One of my favorites was the mole joke: One day a house near a molehill was making pancakes. “Oh this handles so well !” they exclaimed. ", He walks in the door and says he just got into a car accident and said he was rear ended by a little person. Daniel Radcliffe. Newest. Why can’t Homosexuals get car insurance? The average number of puns in a Shakespeare play is 78. Back in the late 80's, my dad had a joke he loved to tell everyone he met. The officer looks at the two cars, walks over to the Catholic, and says, “So how fast was he going when he backed into you?”, “No, your rear end makes the pants look big.”, He jumped out of his car and stormed up to my window motioning for me to roll it down. 3 years ago. My aunt heard this story, and told it to her classes (she's a teacher) and one of her students ac, "The other day I rear-ended a car, and a midget walks out looking all pissed. After reaching a low floating cloud, he sees a woman, she has wart. It was going to be a great time, enjoying the cool weather and scenic views of the evergreen forests. Choose from our all-star team of jokes like football puns and basketball puns that make you the number one ... Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end ��� girlfriends cat ate about 5" of the string to tie off one of her dresses, it was partway out of the cats rear end when she got home from work- saw it- called vet- was told to take her to the local animal hospital. Share these dog jokes that will leave everyone barking for more. So, I've been taking stool softener, but those stools still seem just as hard to me. mule puns horse puns zebra puns hinny puns pack animal puns ass puns hybrid puns elephant puns monkey puns domestication puns equidae puns foal puns kiang puns domestic ass puns equus asinus puns african wild ass puns burro puns moke puns equus puns rooster puns When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. ���Plumber���s crack��� has been the name associated to any time when someone���s pants are too low and you can see far too much of their Add joke. Click here for more information. Okay okay I'll bring it to a robust end. Best. ... use they’re almost always found circlin’ around the back end of a horse.” ... Are you trying to call me a horse’s rear end… Rear end Jokes- Handicap- Respect for the Law- Take the Temperature- Reasons To Love Men- A Bad Golf Day. Translating Puns: Tips and Tricks to Produce Great Translations of Puns, with Examples in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese from Harry Potter. ".....I asked him, "Which one are you then?" To which the dad replies "Well it looks like the first accident I've had in 10 years", We pulled into a nearby parking lot and out of the car I had hit stepped a little person, a dwarf if you will. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. ass puns fanny puns backside puns target puns bum puns adjoin puns rear end puns bottom puns arse puns behind puns posterior puns tail end puns tush puns tail puns keister puns hindquarters puns buttocks puns butt joint puns derriere puns edge puns. ...so he scratches the itch. He Who Shall Not Be Played - Funny pictures of really horrible, and terribly lame puns that will make you regret the day you Googled it. He walked onto the stage in the big auditorium and placed his papers. The best part is, after every dad joke my dad tells, he finishes it with "I don't care who you are, that's funny." When he wakes up, he finds himself in a barn filled with animals and that he had become a chicken. Mar 25, 2019 - Explore Katelynn Wilt's board "Snake Puns" on Pinterest. It went something like this: I was driving down the road and ended up behind this ambulance with its rear door open. We found a nice log to sit on and rest our feet, and we put down our packs and started to sit. 3 nuns died and went to Heavens Gate. Being the 1980's, e-mail wasn't prevalent, and calling long distance could get expensive, so he communicated with his out of state family primarily through mailed letters. Old people jokes - All true and hey, try not to laugh too hard! What’s wrong with it mechanically you ask? I think I'm getting to the rear end of these puns now. Then, he took off running, fast as a cheetah. Cult Jokes. It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. ", so I took off after him. He says "I'm not happy, you know"! He runs ten miles to the nearest town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby. Furious, they pulled over and were about to beat the shit out of him. To which I reply: "Well, which one are you then? Thought it would fit here. Hogsmeander your rear end over here and laugh. ", #1: "My dad is a proctologist, you wouldn't believe what he's had to remove from people's rear ends. After Lightning McQueen insults Francesco Bernoulli by calling him "fragile," Francesco begins swearing in Italian, before being muted t��� The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Please, when you add a new article title here, add the source of the pun (i.e. I rear ended a car with a Jesus bumper sticker on it. Sometimes we make punny trope names, just for pun. A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Yesterday I was on the highway and rear ended a prius. ", A man is driving his car when he's suddenly distracted. A list of puns related to "Lunar" What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long? "But here's what to do. He hopped out, waddled over, and signalled me to wind down my window. I was in an accident the other day, rear-ended the car in front. Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. Meta jokes have only become more popular since Spaceballs' release, with shows like Family Guy, 30 Rock, and Community popularizing them. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The man doesn’t believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. As they turned the corner away from us, a small cooler fell out. The little person walks up to his car and my dad opens the window. Anonymous. The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf, He looked up at me and said, 'I am not Happy! Man. There is a voice coming from high up in the clouds, “climb the ladder to success”. Stuffed ��� Tuft: As in, ���Get tuft ��� and ��� Tuft toy��� and ��� Tuft to the gills.���. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching, The doctor looked him over and declared, *"Sir, you have a tapeworm. Little Sally asks her dad if she could take her dog Fluffy far a walk around the block. When he nears a traffic signal, he gets rear ended. ". Daddy mole comes up, sniffs, and says,"I smell pancakes." The door opens and to his surprise a dwarf jumps out and approaches the car to assess the damage. My favorite was with the doctor when she finally brought the cat out saying she seems ok to take home- "well all set then? He says, "Mister, I'm not happy!" Fallow: Here are some puns on fallow deer : On the evening of the talk, the auditorium was packed with friends, acquaintances, and people who were proud of their native son. My dad had a real goofy and dadly sense of humor. Many of the rear axle jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. The dwarf starts shaking his head saying: "I'm not happy. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 A.M., at which time he is extremely drunk. In most states, it's against the law to text and drive and sure enough I was trying to do one of those quick replies to a text I just received by holding the phone down and out of sight. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He recently got a shelf installed above the back seat of his car to hold extra things for him, as he doesn't often clean his car and needs space to put things. He said "I'm not happy",so I asked "Then which one are you?". This is one of those British spies we told you about. (Dad joke inside as well). If you know of any puns about trains that we���re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! But then, Frank let out the BIGGEST scream I've ever heard! I don't mean to be cheeky, although I might be scraping the bottom of the barrel. When he gets out of the car he realizes the other driver is a priest. The washer fluid pump has been changed becau, Rear ended a car at a stop sign. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." The buttocks (singular: buttock) are two rounded portions of the exterior anatomy of most mammals, located on the posterior of the pelvic region.In humans, the buttocks are located between the lower back and the perineum.They are composed of a layer of exterior skin and underlying subcutaneous fat superimposed on a left and right gluteus maximus and gluteus medius muscles. Rear End Jokes. 5 months ago. Rear-end collision: A rear-end collision (often called simply rear-end or in the UK a shunt) occurs when a vehicle crashes into the one in front of it. The language has numerous words to refer to the rear end, from the delicately indirect to the scatalogically specific. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. There are some 200 puns in Love���s Labour���s Lost, 175 in Romeo and Juliet, 150 in each of the Henry IV plays, and upwards of 100 in Much Ado about Nothing and All���s Well That Ends Well. My father noted that there was a tow-truck in their parking lot, and with the biggest shit eating grin on his face he said "It looks like someone got rear-ended. Hi Folks, They believe that one day they will cease to exist in their human form, and become water vapor. A male cat's genitals will be further from the anus than a female cat's. A woman hears her husband cussing up a storm From behind the bathroom door. Okay, I'll leave out the back door, but its so dark out, I can even see the full moon! I didn't think anything of it at first, but it continued every single time. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. 15. Right at the end of the first chase scene where Paul Walker is running on top of the bus and Michelle Rodriguez spins her car around for him to grab the rear, I turned and said (quietly): "They showed that in the trailers, talk about your.....spoilers.". Fra, At one place where we'd stopped for lunch, several people noticed a butt-print on the back of one of our vehicles, and this guy looking rather amused with himself. Train Puns List. He wrote this joke (sans punchline) in a letter to his mom. However, we did have one issue: Montana is pretty notorious for having lots of bears. How to name Your Cat-Man. In 1965, American auto customizer Gene Winfield created The Reactor, a Citroën DS chassis, with a turbocharged 180 hp (130 kW) flat-six engine from the Corvair driving the front wheels. I mean anusthing is possible, Find 7 ways to say rear end, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. Turns out that an elderly gentleman in a rust. Once everyone had noticed and was aware of the situation, he proudly said, "Well, looks like the van got rear ended! Dr. Epstein, a world- renowned physician, was invited back to his hometown to give a public lecture. As much as we love writing puns, we also love reading your comments about the puns! He climbs into bed next to his wife who is deep asleep, and closes his eyes. St. Peter comes out and says "before you can enter the gates of heaven you must answer me this one question". Among the t. One is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. So we get there and shes explaining to the receptionist what happened, I dropped them with a "we're just in knots about it", and during the wait with a "sophia's (the cat) really stringing us along with this one". My friend joined a cult. Man: Doc, my cat has some 'stuff' coming out of 'back there' (waves hand over cat's rear end). They were being held by the tribesmen outside the village. Jokes News Laugh for Fun.- Funny, Blonde, Pepito, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes. Guy jumps out and starts walking back to my car -turns out he is a little person so I roll my window down and he says; “I’m not happy”. Found out that the Turbo models have a hidden spoiler at the top of the rear windshield that pops out at high speeds. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. I thought, "Uh, oh! Now I know what you’re thinking, “I bet this is a junker”, but you’d be wrong. So the Protestant, as anyone would do, calls the police. You can give me your choice when you are summoned. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Mamma mole pops up next to him, sniffs, and says I smell pancakes too!" 1. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. I can remove it easily enough, but it may just be the tip of the iceberg.". Please come back in three days, and bring...a BANANA."*. We love writing puns because they catch you off guard and give us the chance to switch up meanings in a fun way. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! October 15, 2013 by I know everything. Next to my wife this is the best body I’ve ever had my hands on. I replied, "Well, which one are you then?". The priest looks over the damages and pops his trunk. Tough ��� Tuft: As in, ��� Tuft as old boots��� and ���As tuft as they come��� and ���Hang tuft ��� and ���A tuft customer��� and ���A tuft nut to crack��� and ��� Tuft on crime.���. "10" shouts the son. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He tells her no, because Fluffy was in heat. I finally turned to Google to make sure my car wasn't broken. The dad turns to the son "Son, how old are you?" 1. No dad, just no. 0. Without further ado, here���s our list of train puns: If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. Nothing! ���Oh this handles so well !��� they exclaimed. First, let's establish whether you have a girl or a boy. It's asstounding how long this is lasting. Dogs are a man���s best friend. We were doing what we were told to scare off the bears, but we were still a little antsy. Huge List of Funny, Clever, Cheesy and Cute Butt Puns That You Will Love! a wooden plaque on the wall with the rear end of a cat sticking out of it. Pun Original; Happy Maze Tweet Happy Days: Coin a Maze ... End of Maze Tweet End of Days: 49 Maze Tweet 49 Days: Around the World in 80 Maze Tweet ... Rear delt Maze Tweet Rear delt raise: Maze line Tweet Phase line: Acute Maze proteins Tweet 2. A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. Frank must've seen a bear! 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