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";s:4:"text";s:23141:"every single time. that can cause it at an early age in men. If he gets this mental loop in his head that he isn’t/can’t/won’t please you, then he will lose his erection. ok, so i feel at the end of my rope here. Break up. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. You have asked him “countless times” to basically be a different person sexually. If he’s 25 then he has some serious problems going on. My Boyfriend Is Depressed and Pushing Me Away. To clarify, I was very very chilled about it until 2 years into our relationship. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. You’ll want to support and encourage your partner as they manage their condition. First off this can be fixed. It's never ok to cheat. There is nothing to do, you should start to go for dating to fell attractive and feel how man wants you . its important to state that our relationship is really, really solid and good. BF needs to see a doctor to further diagnose. Erectile dysfunction can take a toll on a relationship. ._3gbb_EMFXxTYrxDZ2kusIp{margin-bottom:24px;text-transform:uppercase;width:100%}._3gbb_EMFXxTYrxDZ2kusIp:last-child{margin-bottom:10px} i am very much in love, and in a very serious co-habitating relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years now. You may not understand his emotional struggles, and you might even worry that you’re somehow to blame. Press J to jump to the feed. Make sure you choose a place where you and your partner will be most comfortable. this came out of nowhere and i feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. I had been fighting to have proper sex for 3 years and I felt so frustrated that I think something inside me just gave up. Thanks so much for this well thought out reply! In Bed With Gigi Engle: I Think My Boyfriend Has Erectile Dysfunction. Every time we were physical, even though it was regular, it just ended up being the ‘other stuff’, not full sex. By the 3rd week you will notice your drive is back-if not before!! If this is a big enough issue, either ask him for a sexually open relationship, or leave him. Bringing up that "but he has ED" excuse is not a pass for treating someone who loves you like shit. Cheat. He’s even got a prescription for viagra but it doesn’t seem to work that well as he still loses his erection. Like if he’s 50+ then yea I’d be more understanding that he has ED. It’s an issue. That's definitely one of my worries... That it's just for me that my boyfriend's dick doesn't work. and its getting harder and harder to keep turning men away because im just not getting what i need at home. I noticed it maybe a year or two ago that he couldnt get an erection. i thought my bf would know by now too. Vote. I wish I had advice. My partner is 22 and has been on Centrelink for 4 years, can’t keep a job, has no idea what she wants to do with her life – I am worried she is going to drag me down. There are a billion fucking options (literally) before cheating comes up, and even then it's usually zero tolerance. Jason Hoffman/Thrillist Welcome to In Bed with Gigi Engle, a … he nurtures and takes care of me as his girlfriend in ways that no one else ever could, and we are very happy together - outside of these sexual problems. I spoke to him about this countless times but he never did anything about it. After that, I feel like I completely shut down. Both work it's just about what way you prefer to go. im dying to try new things sexually but he just cant, and wont when i suggest them. 6. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the DeadBedrooms community. But the only awkward thing is we both know that it would be me getting my needs met; even if he wanted to elsewhere I'm not sure he could physically. at first he would get aggressively defensive about it, now it just seems after 4 years we've both accepted that this is what he's like sexually/physically. somewhereintheusa. Since we’ve lived together, we’ve been physical once (and not full sex). Okay so this guy on Reddit wins the "CUTEST EVER" award after he revealed to the internet that he thinks he might be inadvertently dating his best mate. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.361933014be843c79476.css.map*/._2ppRhKEnnVueVHY_G-Ursy{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:22px 0 0;min-height:200px;overflow:hidden;position:relative}._2KLA5wMaJBHg0K2z1q0ci_{margin:0 -7px -8px}._1zdLtEEpuWI_Pnujn1lMF2{bottom:0;position:absolute;right:52px}._3s18OZ_KPHs2Ei416c7Q1l{margin:0 0 22px;position:relative}.LJjFa8EhquYX8xsTnb9n-{filter:grayscale(40%);position:absolute;top:11px}._2Zjw1QfT_iMHH7rfaGsfBs{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;background:linear-gradient(180deg,rgba(0,121,211,.24),rgba(0,121,211,.12));border-radius:50%;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;height:25px;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;margin:0 auto;width:25px}._2gaJVJ6_j7vwKV945EABN9{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);border-radius:50%;height:15px;width:15px;z-index:1} My boyfriend was intimidated by my sexual history, so I dumped him Back to video When he got an answer that made me seem less than virginal, we fought. I had been fighting to have proper sex for 3 years and I felt so frustrated that I think something inside me just gave up. I'm quite used to people in my life commenting on my weight and diet, even before I suffered with disordered eating; people encourage me to gain … reddit: the front page of the internet I try to avoid cuddling him or going near him. If so, is there anything he's suggesting/doing to help you feel satisfied? I don’t even masturbate anymore. Straight Guy Realises Best Friend Is Actually His Boyfriend In Adorable Reddit Post Publish Date Tuesday, 5 July 2016, 8:18AM Photo: iStock. Later you will really regret that you didn't do it before . We use cookies on our websites for a number of purposes, including analytics and performance, functionality and advertising. oh no. Quarantine has not been good on us, even though we’ve been together for … No it is not okay. First off example. This has never happened to me before in any relationship and I don’t think it’s normal. I used to have a very high sex drive but I’ve now completely lost it, in its entirety. He always had a bit of a problem keeping his erection which meant we did more ‘other stuff’ than full on sex. If you cheat, that is ENTIRELY on you, and not your boyfriend. If not, don't be selfish. Posted by just now. When you would get mad at him for his ED, it gives him the same feelings you felt when you said you felt ugly because he wouldn't spend time with him. Birth control and antidepressants can have a negative impact on sex drive. He just doesnt. at first i literally couldnt understand, but then i started trying to ask if he wanted to try to take a hormonal test or if he had seen a doctor about it. Fair enough, but how do I talk to him about this in a way he can understand? ._2YJDRz5rCYQfu8YdgB_neb{overflow:hidden;position:relative}._2YJDRz5rCYQfu8YdgB_neb:before{background-image:url(https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/img/reddit_pattern.png);content:"";filter:var(--newCommunityTheme-invertFilter);height:100%;position:absolute;width:100%}._37WD6iicVS6vGN0RomNTwh{padding:0 12px 12px;position:relative} There was a LOT of excited build up to our first sexual encounter (flirty texts, suggestive conversations, etc). This is not correct, there is a wide spectrum of problems associated with ED. Maybe you two can arrange a sexual partner? Instead of cheating, have you discussed your sexual needs rather than asking what's wrong with him? Reaching out a hand and giving him all the answers how. You might be making out, then things get sexy, you get even more intimate, and then suddenly you realize that the sexy train is silently screeching to a halt and it gets mega awkward pretty fast. That said. He refuses to do penetration because he "thinks" he knows that it will just result in him failing you and feeling inadequate and getting you upset so he feels its best not to even try. That's life. What do you think of these stories? I feel like he is rushing to get it “over with.” He’s never even touched me with his hand down there. He insists he can ‘solve this problem on his own’ even though the past few years has shown that he can’t. Talk with him. ._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} I can’t believe this has been downvoted. He can do this online from his own privacy because he seems shy. It's Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction and it's real even if not codified in the DSM or whatever. Think of it as porn becoming your SO. Get a new vibrator/toy that is special to you and just for you to play with so there is no association to him. I really resent being blamed for something that's clearly out of my control, thanks. The resentment that built over his lack of respect for my time and my labor completely overpowered sexual attraction. It just depends on the strength and the person so he just needs to find what works for him. I dont want sex from him because i am lonely within my relationship - I work on that piece constantly. i have tried talking about it with him since we got together. Based on SO's age and the recurrence of posts of this nature on this sub, I'm going to guess that SO is masturbating excessively to porn. The ‘other stuff’ wasn’t doing it for me anymore and actually made me feel worse. Not. tl;dr: i think my boyfriend may have ED, and i'm extremely tempted to cheat to take care of my sexual needs. So, when they finally decide they are interest you feel no desire. i feel so lost. -My Brain saying “It’s time to get funky” when I pace around a room-too scared to shower because I don’t want to see my body-stomach gases, burps, and farts go brrr-“do you want to have diarrhea or constipation” “yes”-Always feel like vomiting and keep puking a little randomly at times-sluggish-My heart:”I am speed” I met my boyfriend at the beginning of 2017 and at first we had a great sex life - we were always physical with each other and it happened every time we were together. Everything else about our relationship is amazing and I love him so much. Cheating is not justified. the problem (since the beginning, since even before him and i got together apparently) is that i think he has ED. He now wants sex and keeps asking me when we’re going to have it. In my past relationships, my sex drive had vastly diminished due to all the porn I was watching at home alone. Have some respect. tl:dr Got tired of fighting with boyfriend over his ED and lost my sex drive out of frustration. Sometimes people cannot sustain an erection for an extended period. 1. It's a big hit to our ego if we can't perform and having it put right in front of us only serves to reinforce the negative feelings that being in this situation creates. So LL. But when we do have sex which is rare .. it’s not enough for me. I would love to know more about your experiences if you want to talk via DM :). Sounds like my situation. I ended up bursting into tears in a hotel because I felt so ugly that he didn’t want to sleep with me. Viagra and Cialis work differently so like when I was dumb and younger I tried them just to see what they actually felt like, Viagra didn't do a damn thing because I was able to do the same things as normal but that Cialis didn't go away for like 5 hours. I really don’t know what to do at this point. You haven’t been patient and understanding for three and a half years. Do. Cheating is never acceptable. Add Opinion. Ed April 12, 2020 at 1:25 am . he just shuts down. ED and my boyfriend . I will grant that having your partner's permission does not count as cheating, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here. If not for you-his self esteem. Just let me know if you would like to know more about the other and I will elaborate. Perhaps one of those swinger types. If he doesn’t want to really solve the problem then chalk it up to you two not being compatible and move on. If you’ve never been depressed, you might not know why your boyfriend is pushing you away. Alone or with him. A support group for Redditors who are coping with a relationship that is seriously lacking in sexual intimacy. Close. Instead of … Have a plan to determine the best time and place to engage in a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner. Keith (and all of my friends) have reassured me that this is not the case. Most Helpful Guys. That's why he is still trying and not giving up on you. typical its not you its me. One my girlfriend had the same problem, fixed with the break up. Talk it out with a therapist. You’re not married and you didn’t mention that you have a kid(s). Even an older guy can feel 20 again with good habits and directing their affection toward their wife instead of a screen. If that's not an option, then you need to break up. him seeking treatment or allowing you to have a sex partner). Edit: Chill out a bit on the next man. I feel like I the only way he will take me seriously is if I upset him by getting myself a dildo. The very first sign that your boyfriend has sexual performance anxiety is, well, pretty obvious. Either suggest an open relationship or break up. You both are hurting each other unintentionally and both want the same things. Is he a diabetic? Published on 11/22/2016 at 12:01 AM. I hope he will go see his doctor. the problem (since the beginning, since even before him and i got together apparently) is that i think he has ED. He never seemed to understand why I wasn't horny after picking up his dirty socks and throwing out the wrappers he left laying around everywhere." That's a very pointed assumption. If you're need aren't being met then you need to break up with him. Press J to jump to the feed. I don’t remember when the issue with sex between us started. This subreddit is intended for all genders and sexual orientations, and supports all approaches. on top of this (or perhaps because of it) his sex drive is much lower than mine. No, you break up with him if you want sex with other people. ED and my boyfriend. Did he used to watch a lot of porn during you two’s sexual downtime? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. But just know you’re not alone. You hassled your boyfriend for penetrative sex, you made him feel bad about it, you were unaccepting of all the ways he showed he wanted to be sexual with you and now you’re surprised he’s not interested anymore? If that doesn't work and sex is important to you, might be time to break up. The combination of acclimating to being aroused by (maybe) a particular type of porn plus sapping his own sexual energy is the most likely culprit. it’s well known to my 2 bsfs that i’m sick and purge a lot. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. he doesn't seem willing or capable to try to have sex more than once a week, whereas i'm ready to go much more often. i thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. Advice is always appreciated, just don't be surprised if we've heard it all. I often didn’t feel like engaging sexually with my girlfriends and I had started to experience ED all the time whenever I actually did (rarely). Do you have your own crazy experiences? not ed related - my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me out of nowhere. I have been the HL who has slaved and worked my ass off for my partner with zero back. Rejection breeds a bounce back of disinterest in one rejected. You've been doing that for him for years. Yes I've been looking seriously into open relationships. It’s also important to take care of yourself, too. He might be into that, who knows. This is something that is very difficult for most men to deal with. I feel like the problems we’ve had in the bedroom have ruined sex for me. I want to be open and honest with you from a guys perspective while still completely and truly understanding your side on this. This is a really long one but I’ll try and keep it succinct. i dont even remember driving home. I'm assuming he knows that you're not getting your needs met? ok, so i feel at the end of my rope here. I used to masturbate more than once a day, but I feel like I’ve lost the urge too now. Last year his libido dropped, to the point that we didn’t have sex for months and months - even on an exotic vacation. - Reddit user Napsaremyfavorite. For now you are spending your time with him for nothing . Talk to him about your sexual drive and what can done (i.e. He even made me feel bad for asking for penetrative sex, as if it was something I shouldn’t want. If he won't explore treatment or options for it, and you guys want to stay together, you need to have a serious talk about opening the relationship. I’m such a sexual person. Hi all. Mental health issues, porn addiction, closet homosexual, history of sexual abuse, etc. How do I get it back? He will want to have a good sex life with some one-even if you decide not to stick around. I’ve tried to explain to him how I feel but he doesn’t seem to understand. We fought about it then and he made me feel so bad for bringing up his ED that I feel like this was a turning point for me. When he did he couldn’t keep it. This can be fixed in one of two ways. I’m a few years younger at 19 and have been employed since I was 15, and am currently studying for my dream job. I only brought this up a year or so ago. Some men that refuse to even finger women and care nothing about her experience tend to be very porn-saturated....are you sure he’s not a porn addict? My boyfriend is 16 he follows a lot of female wrestlers on Instagram I have an eating disorder and I’m very insecure about myself they’re skinny and … reddit: the front page of the internet i don’t directly say it, but it’s easy for my friends and some people to catch on to my habits. Now I no longer want him physically, I don’t even want to kiss him anymore. He is extremely defensive and aggressive when I try to bring up sex and oftentimes flat out refuses to even talk about it. do you mean ED related to depression/anxiety? Here’s the thing about depression: it is no one’s fault. when we have sex we have a good connection but, he often cannot get hard or loses it or cannot finish (most of the time actually) and even to maintain his erection he has to have sex exactly the same way. Your boyfriend needs a more flexible and understanding partner. I was turned down for sex just three times this week. We then saw a sex therapist for one session, after which he didn’t want to go back. On what grounds do you base this on? At 56, I'm actually in the best shape of my life. Well you adding your ages might help readers understand the context better. i kind of assumed he knew too. Next time, try telling your man that it is ok so the pressure is off him to perform for you, and I bet you will get a different result...meaning a lasting erection to have sex with. I am the first woman he's been with since his divorce. No, you do not get to cheat. ive never felt a pain like this. Waisting your time is not good . i am very much in love, and in a very serious co-habitating relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years now. Challenge yourself to masturbate everyday for a month. My boyfriend has ED (erectile dysfunction), is it wrong to end it with him? 2. You mean she wasn't into sex and then it was fixed with the breakup? which brings me to my dilemma - i recently started a new job and all of the men i work with have been flocking to me for some reason. We recently moved in together in January. After that, I feel like I completely shut down. Viagra and similar drugs have no effect on psychological problems. Whatever gets you through. You will find frank discussion of supportive needs-driven methods, assertive seduction-based methods, and infidelity. The other option is going about it through practice patience and naturally. My (M25) boyfriend (M26) has put on almost 100 pounds since January 2020. You’ve been cruel and frankly he deserves better. The ‘other stuff’ wasn’t doing it for me anymore and actually made me feel worse. but he literally cannot keep hard. i feel like im in a heightened sense of sexual arousal constantly, and that the men around me notice. As the LL in this relationship I am STILL the one working my ass off to make the relationship work. I just did whatever he was comfortable with in the bedroom and ignored the fact my needs weren't being met. If he can achieve an erection for just a minute then it's not ED, it's psychological. At first I was ok with this but I then started to miss proper sex. Clean living and cutting porn out of your life, as if it were some necessity, helps immensely. I also want to tell you that I am very sorry that you have had to endure through all this for this long. Usually things can either be fixed on their own or get worse before they get better but it is usually as a result of lack of communication. Xper 4 +1 y. By Gigi Engle. we've tried toys, different positions etc. You are probably nervous about revealing to your partner that you have erectile dysfunction. The vibe I got from how you described him is that he doesn't like getting help because he likes to keep things private and that alone should tell you that he even was willing to go out of his comfort when he did the one time for you. I didn’t even want it I just wanted to make a point that I’m still trying. You need to either accept him as he is, out find someone else. 'My New Boyfriend Has Erectile Dysfunction' 12/14/2016 07:44 am ET Updated Dec 07, 2017 Reader Disappointed Dater writes, I'm a divorced 50-ish woman who recently started dating a 50-ish divorced man. It’s a tough situation but not knowing I’m not alone in this is comforting. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/ReredditLink.f7b66a91705891e84a09.css.map*/I've been flexible and understanding - this is 3.5 years into our relationship now. You deserve yours, too. The lack of sex and the lack of interest is the same for you and your husband because of the arguments and the negativity. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. ";s:7:"keyword";s:26:"my boyfriend has ed reddit";s:5:"links";s:834:"<a href="https://friendstravel.al/wp-content/uploads/09lu7/canadian-nhl-players-all-time-f84972">Canadian Nhl Players All-time</a>,
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