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</html>";s:4:"text";s:29194:"You’re so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! Teens answer back now and show little respect to those whom are called their peers. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? Best Comebacks. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Now you can be! It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. 22. 4 Witty Comebacks For Guys. Brains aren’t everything. 17. 98. Just wait till you can’t fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from? Comeback: I wouldn't know, because I don't live my life with my head up my arse. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. You have your whole life to be a jerk….so why don’t you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!! Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? I don’t think you’re stupid. I always root for the little guy. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. It’s looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer. Funny Insults. Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent! You’re like Monday: no one likes you. Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" never met an a**hole. The good thing here is that we have 100 amazing, nasty, sarcastic, hilarious comebacks that you can use for just […] "You only annoy me when you're breathing, really.". Which way did you come in? You’d be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. Funny Comebacks. There are a lot of ways to gain credibility; watch movies, keeps up with trends, increase your knowledge in a particular area, have witty comebacks, et cetera. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. You’re so fat, your double chin has a double chin. Found inside – Page 11Don't create stupid comebacks , which will leave you open to more insults . If you can't think of a good comeback , just look at the bully and smirk as if you find his insult so petty that it's funny . Another option , which will not ... <a href="https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2021/07/good-comebacks/">130+ Good Comebacks to Win Arguments | Thought Catalog</a> Opposites attract, right? You’re so dumb no one believes you’re my brother. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isn’t real: “Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesn’t bring you presents, you should think about why.”, Female friend: “I’ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.”, Male friend: “They don’t give trophies for last place”. <a href="https://discover.hubpages.com/entertainment/Snappy-Comebacks-to-Stupid-Insults">Snappy Comebacks to Stupid Insults - HubPages</a> 23 Viciously Funny Twitter Comebacks. You sure have a bodacious rack—for a guy. <a href="https://pun.me/funny/insults/">List of 75 Funny Insults | Pun.me</a> Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Read story 25 funny insults/comebacks by fudgerolos (Tegan) with 1,187,971 reads. I’ve seen your kind before… but last time, I had to pay admission. This post may include . 76. What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity. Baldness Casual/General Classics Family Famous Insults Fat People. I'm baffled by just how flexible you can be. 2. at least I can wear one
155K views. 1. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated. The Village just called. What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back? -. You just live. 85. You’ll go far someday. It should be, you sap. Don’t bother leaving a message. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. You were dragged through dumb-ass forest. Sometimes you think of a witty comeback hours later and wish you'd had it at the tip of your tongue in time. How many of these can you work into your day, today? Cookie Studio/Shutterstock I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. This pairs well with a hand gesture to your ear and a softening of the voice. All it takes is a quick look at their lineup of sitcoms and comedies to see that biting comebacks and witty remarks are par for the course. Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance! I never even listen when you tell me them. I’ve always wanted to meet your family. What Is The Greatest Comeback To A Insult You've Ever Heard? It’s too small to be out there all alone. You’re not as bad as everyone says. 31. If you like these clean good burns, please share this page with all you friends right now because these burn jokes will definitely amuse your friends. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege. Best 21 hilarious comebacks - Disappointment Quotes. You’re so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight. I’m jealous of people who don’t know you. This item: Insults and Comebacks for All Occasions. 7. Roasts Comebacks. You: "Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.". Translate . I don’t know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Or did your neck just throw up? Savage Comebacks. Don’t get caught with nothing to say. Hey, here’s a hint. See more ideas about witty insults, insulting, comebacks and insults. 6. I’ll never forget the first time we met, although I’ll keep trying. But there’s more awesome stuff below. FOR THE LAST TIME! There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket! You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. Insults, Comebacks, Sarcastic, Funny and Witty QuotesYou can visit our website to see more.Quotes For Everything, Motivational, Inspirational, Love, Life, Fu. You’re so stupid you tried to wake a sleeping bag. And they’ve been happily married ever since. Good Comebacks 1. The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s butt and wait. This book can either be read for the,sheer fiendish fun of it, or it can be put to work,as a sourcebook for anyboday - speakers,entertainers, managers, writers - who wishes to,communicate a little more forcefully. If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invulnerable. You prefer three left turns to one right turn. You wouldn't understand it. 6 Clever Comebacks In An Argument. Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? Please, save your breath. It might even defuse the argument. Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles. Funny Insults And Comebacks. At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn’t hit me in the face. 25. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. The following responses don’t require wit, but do require a funny bone. You’ll laugh and the jerks will be very pissed.if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0')};if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0_1')};.medrectangle-3-multi-195{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:0!important;margin-right:0!important;margin-top:15px!important;min-height:250px;min-width:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. You’re so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. Some of these have been recycled. If you were twice as smart as you are now, you’d be stupid. Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don’t you go play in traffic?! A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! Usually, people live and learn. Maybe some will say these comebacks are rude, but I think they’re perfect for the occasion. I’m not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!! 47. oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk like that to disabled people, hope you recover from stupid. Best Comebacks For Your Brother. Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go. Hey, where’d you get that nose? You remind me of a penny…two-faced and not worth much. See more ideas about funny insults and comebacks, sarcastic comebacks, sarcasm comebacks. People like you are the reason I work out. You’re not as bad as people say. 30. It’s a “before” picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isn’t it? I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it. I may be fat,but you’re ugly,and I can diet!!! I’m sorry. No matter where you go, people, have a way of getting into your head by hurling out savage insults or mean remarks. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. 3 you ain't no ones fool, so let's put you up for adoption. The story of how my grandparents went on their first date has the greatest comeback ever. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Watch footage of comedians famous for witty comebacks online. You’re so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. 75. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. 9 Clean Good Burns And Burn Jokes. You are so stupid, you’d trip over a cordless phone. You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen. Because that’s where most accidents happen, you are so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet, youre so ugly that if hellen keller got her vision back and you were the first person she saw she would choose to be blind again, Brian Tracy Motivational Quotes: 65+ Best Ones You…, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, Terminator Genisys Sucks So Bad James Cameron Vomited, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. They can only be made in the moment using the unexpected material you get from the other person by listening actively and precisely, experts say. Comebacks Sassy. Man: "Would you like to go back to my place or yours?". He goes up to my 10 year old skinny nephew and jokes “hey, it looks like you are gaining weight.” My 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him “Hey, it looks like you have diabetes.” My cousin is 300 plus pounds. I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! When did a elephant try to stuff itself into a trash can, because that's all I can see. There’s just one little problem between your ears – your face! 94. 47. You’ll never be even half the man your mother is. Top Ten Comeback Lists; Comebacks when people make fun of the way you look; Comebacks to personal insults; Funny relationships, dating and hook up comebacks; Comebacks for Bullies; Comebacks for Teens; Funny replies to everyday sayings and nosy questions; Funny replies to rude parenting questions; Stop getting verbally bullied; When . I didn't know you knew French! it looks like your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a hamer. Keep talking. Sep 21, 2019 - Explore Makayla 's board "Insulting humans" on Pinterest. You’re a whole lot worse. Why This Book Is Different This book is different because it is jam packed with content that is ACTUALLY funny for adults. You'll Soon Discover Hundreds of jaw-dropping and hilarious insults that will leave your opponent speechless. Top Ten Witty Comebacks for all Occasions Top Ten Comebacks for Verbal Bullies Top Ten Witty Comebacks for the Not so Bright Ten comebacks for Toxic People If I wanted to commit suicide, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. • Any friend of yours - is a friend of yours. From some of the greatest names in politics, sport, the arts and music along with the comedic talents of the general public, this books presents you with a collection of hilarious barbs and insults from the subtle and the incredibly clever ... You grow on people—but then again, so does cancer. 91. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. “True Detective meets Swamp Thing in the Artemis Fowl author’s neo-noirish thriller about a curmudgeonly dragon in Louisiana.” —Guardian From the New York Times bestselling author of the Artemis Fowl series comes a hilarious and ... 29. Don’t be the person to initiate that. ". You'll never be the man your mom is. You don’t know me, you just wish you did. 19. Let's be very clear - it is never a victim's duty or responsibility to shout back. I'd love to insult you, but you probably wouldn't understand. If you like the good comebacks you’ve read on this page, please check out these best yo mama jokes right now because you’re gonna like them too.if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0')}; These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. 83. 21. The witty comeback works because it is implying that the person's d is dirty and you don't want to be anywhere near it. 70. I’d tell you how I really feel, but I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to express myself in this case. Then please continue reading this page because there are more good comebacks below. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and you’ll be ready to win any argument. Looks aren’t everything; in your case, they aren’t anything. I may be fat, but you’re ugly, and I can lose weight. 96. You’re so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator. Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! It’s rare when you show any. 50+ Snappy Comebacks for Bullies 1 Funny Comebacks for Every Situation. -, Comeback: If I had to jump to yours, I'd be falling forever. If your brain exploded, it wouldn’t even mess up your hair. You have enough fat to make another human. is your butt jeasous of all the crap coming out of your mouth? In case your favorite comeback isn’t on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot. Sandwiches aren’t only for eating and throwing at each other. You’re so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you. Many of these zingers have long lain dormant. Some have even come close to extinction. Now they're back in all their prickly glory, ready to be relished once more. Examines the nature and place of insults in daily life, discussing how insults influence a person's beliefs and impressions about others' character, honor, gender, intentions, conventions, and power. How to respond when someone says I'M MAD AT YOU. 77. "I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly . Offers a selection of all-in-fun insults for school and home that provide laughable exaggerations about appearance, intelligence, family members, and other characteristics. Whether on a date, a family reunion or simply when hanging out with your friends, this handy collection of one hundred and one good jokes is what you need for that to never happen again.Keep it on your Kindle reader, and do not hesitate to ... If there are any of these funny comebacks that you particularly like then please share this post with your friends but not before you've enjoyed them all first. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. I bet if you stood on a street corner, you’d make some money. Keep on living, girl! you must have been born in the ugly forest! I suggest you do a little soul searching. Sometimes, you might still be friends with someone you used to date. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. 65. This is a very functional insult because the times when you want to take folks down a notch is when they're asking you to do something you don't want to. I would make a joke about your life, but I see life already beat me to it. You shouldn’t play hide and seek, no one would look for you. Even better, having the perfect comeback to one of these rude remarks brings us all the personal satisfaction in the world. 1001 Insults, Put-downs, & Comebacks gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of ... 48. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. You conserve toilet paper by using both sides. You’re so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone. Just look at the guys in the pic below. I’ve never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. 54. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Don’t you need a license to be that ugly? 56. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Comeback: Do you work at little Caesars cuz your hot and I'm ready! Do you like what you read so far? yes you!! The Ultimate Guide to Mastering Your Mental Strength Everyone knows that regular exercise and weight training lead to physical strength. But how do we strengthen ourselves mentally for the truly tough times? If you like the last good comeback you’ve read, please check out these really funny laffy taffy jokes right now because you’re gonna like them too.if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0')}; Check out really funny trucker jokes that will make you laugh. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse! I hope your day is just as pleasant as you are. Short, straightforward, and with a hint of sarcasm. 24. 55. These funny burns are awesome. You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about. It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the ‘impression’ that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. I heard you went to a haunted house and they offered you a job. Clever comebacks when a person says IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. Comeback: Roses are red, weed is greener, you just earned yourself a kick in the wiener. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. The Herald Angels Sing The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition The Snark Handbook: Clichés Edition The Snark Handbook: Parenting Edition Isn’t that enough! It’s way to small to be outside by itself! I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. 39. 50+ Snappy Comebacks for Bullies. Use these good roasts for bullies and all jerks. Please, keep talking. You’re so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit. I always yawn when I’m interested. (Oddball Interests Book 6) Good Comebacks For Jerks - Part 2. What are you doing here? Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face. I’d love to insult you, but you probably wouldn’t understand. Comeback: Roses are Red,Violets are Blue your a waste of space,dont worry your mom is too -, Comeback: (Roses are red Violets are blue Modified)
If you've ever stood speechless as someone called you a talentless squib, a worthless git or a filthy mudblood, The Unofficial Harry Potter Insults Handbook: 101 Comebacks For The Wicked Wizards And Witches In Your Life is the book for you! Found inside – Page 62Verbal assertion is not limited to witty comebacks to insults; it also involves asserting one's rights. The majority of the men in the sample complain to store managers if the sales associates are rude to them. 93. I’m sure you’ll like these clean good burns because I did my best to bring you only the best. BlueJays are blue,I would rather cry,then looking at you! Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don’t wanna be mean, but you need Listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole frigging bottle. Comeback: Yeah but right after they realized your mom was driving a trashtruck, and you the main load -, Comeback: You don't even have a certificate because your "parents" don't even want the government to know you exist. 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