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</html>";s:4:"text";s:36028:"If you're part black, and your family is fully white, shouldn't this be very obvious? Today I found out through 23andme testing that my dad is not my biological dad. Your dad might not be swift when it comes to paying the bills or staying out of debt but he is a big fan of letting you spread your wings and experience life. I'm 30. by Anonymous: reply 61: 05/04/2017: R58 You're a real moron if you can't see this is a troll post. I don’t think they fully realized the company could link you to other people by name and exact position on a family tree. We live far away from each other now. So it should come as no surprise that these are often the first clues people recognize in cases of paternal misidentification. Im not! See, my father (the father I knew) and I had a tough relationship as I grew up. OP= Why I no longer pay the monthly fee About 18 months ago, I found out my dad had been cheating on my mom. My life had all the stability his didn’t, but somehow we found … I found out my dad is cheating on my mum in similarly same way as the article I was updating his phone and we were previously talking about some pictures in his gallery so when he left me with the phone I intended to send the photos to myself but I found an array of photos am sure were taken with his camera and they were to say the list soul crashing disgusting and quite … Why did your mom and dad agree to do the test when it was obvious what the results would be? Turns out her mom had an affair with the family doctor and never told a single soul. “It truly feels as if someone has ripped my heart out. I was raised thinking he was my biological father, but I’ve always looked different from everyone else in my immediate family. Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked. In addition, it’s possible to inherit a pair of recessive genes for features that neither biologi… (Did dna test with other man) The worry I carry about with me about him finding out kills me and the guilt I feel about not telling him kills me. Not really looking for advice, just wanted to share my story and maybe hear similar ones. Has anyone experienced a sudden ‘feeling of doom’? It was still 1:03 in the morning when I picked up the phone to call my mom. I am going to my local Vets Administration Office and see the people in that office about securing my dad's service records. I'm 30. But by focusing on it, you are causing yourself emotional problems and that prevents you from being a good mother. I can't get the picture of his body, still warm, out of my head. My dad always treated me different (worse) than my sisters, and now my fears of not even being his are validated. I found out at 15 that my father was not my birth father. But now everything has changed. Stay away from the word "real." At 28 I found out my dad is not my biological father. THIS is what I came to reddit for. I have children and cannot be a good mother to them anymore because of my physical symptoms. He is more likely to tell you TO let your imagination run away with you! It was 1:03 in the morning when my world started to crash. Found out that my father is not my biological father? But Im about to search for it. I am 15 years old, and this is driving me insane Just woundering if anyone can give … “Finally she said yes. I’m 38 years old. It's very unexpected and upsetting. Little things like my whole family could go out in the sun and tan, and I was always getting burnt," she said. My dad isn't my biological father either, only I found out when I was eight. Later on, Dad’s older sister told me that he had once told her: ‘If Becky finds out that she is not my real daughter, it doesn’t matter because I see her as my own.’ It was a sweet revelation for a man of so few words. “Found out the little girl I was raising isn’t mine when I found my gf’s journal,” a man revealed on anonymous site Whisper. Answer (1 of 14): Well in my opinion you should call him dad...cause I have a similar problem but mines a bit different.....I know my dad is not my dad I been knowing since I was 8 but I have never told my parents.....but I know it wouldnt of been a problem cause I love my dad cause he was there from the start to now and he was there through the bad and the good and I know hes … And don’t they see the result too? We have rules, here. Elephants in the room often fade with time. The hard thing is how dad's behaved since mum found out. I'm just mad at my mother for putting us through this. Dear Abby: I recently found a notebook of my mom’s. They would have to post their results though. About 4 months after finding this out all these physical symptoms started. I do know she's not mine but I love my daughter so much, I could never say someone else is her father." Last year, my mom came home from work white in the face saying that my dad … I agree that it is not your responsibility and maybe not your right to do so. When my mother was sleeping he almost killed her, so I took his computer and threw it out the window. My "dad" left me when I was a baby. Anyhow, thanks for the visit. Finding Out My Father Was Not My Biological Father @ 27. I did it as a joke because I don't look a thing like him but it ended up not being a joke anymore. Xper 3 +1 y. a man once asked his mom the same question. I found out my dad wasn't my biological dad a couple of years ago. I literally had no clue and never a reason to question for the last 50 years. Im 14 year old boy old and i am just now finding out who my real father is and it gets better! I found out three weeks ago that my dad was not my bio-dad. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Your physical features, and to some extent your personality traits, are a direct result of the DNA you’ve inherited from your parents. Live your life to its fullest. Most families know things that are never discussed because the damage would undoable. Found out my potassium was really low. My … It will take some time to get used to the idea, but the important thing is that your dad is still your dad, and he needs to know that nothing has changed. Two hours is a good length for an initial meeting. It is a a lot to think … Her mum initially balked at the question, feigning ignorance, but Katy asked her to be honest. Not My Dad. I think time will change how you feel about them both. kaitlen I need to talk to you" we sit down and he continues " 17yeears ago I got a 15 year old girl pregnant, nine months later we had you. Both of you are adults and I think that you deserve a honest answer. Happened to me when I was much younger (9) but found out through an annoying relative; it really affected me. No easy way of doing it. I can understand your anger and sadness. Ive grew thinking i am an only child well guess what! She and his dad … A couple of days ago, I found out … Kenneth Avery on January 29, 2018: Peg: This hub is just what I needed. Quite often a question of paternity is more than just doubting whether the father is the biological father of a child. That's your luxury. Something important in your life happens: college graduation, marriage or a child. We lived a good lifestyle, but the income he was earning was enough that he was spending thousands of dollars a month chasing hedonistic highs. Here all of this time my mom told everyone she was raped and I was a product of that rape, but she told me something different. Tend to your children, you lucky woman. :), Sorry about this. And under the circumstances, I don't wanna poke around and ask her too many questions. Not My Dad is Jon Elfner, Terence Smith, Lara Elfner, Bill Villarreal, Ted Venegas, Krista Venegas, and Matt Epperson (and Mike Mandichak 1972-2016) I found out that I was conceived between my biological father’s first and second marriages. The fact that you aren't biologically related, and yet he has invested so much of his resources in you, must mean that he's really devoted to you. Which seems awkward. This year I completed a test with Ancestry, as well as 23andMe. Mom won't tell me the other guy's name. They had left home by the time I found out my true identity; the day my mother and stepfather whisked me away for a weekend to a remote cottage, to let me in on this very big secret. Submitted by purpledaisies on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 2:52am. My mother only told me about my real father 4 months ago because i found out she was lying, i found im half Spanish and i met my bio father but im not allowed ever to talk about it to the dad that raised me and not to mention i went to Spain and feel this is unfair. Yea I don’t understand how she got both of her parents to test themselves yet they don’t know the results? That's where your responsibility lies. Because I was worried that my dad would find out the same way I did, through the website, I spoke to him in person that same day. I’m not sure if I was most upset because I never expected my dad to be involved with such sin or that it seemed to be an indication of something I have feared for too long: that my dad … I suffered horrendous addiction and alcohol … At 28 I found out my dad is not my biological father. The most upsetting part about it was that he brought my brothers and I into that lifestyle by introducing us to drugs and gambling from a … I do feel I deserve the truth, but a part of me also feels as though these DNA results have already opened my eyes. I feel like I have been lied to my whole life (I'm 26, my father doesn't know yet, he hasn't seen the results). Talk about your genes and their possible implications! Many people simply resemble their biological mother. I discovered recently after having my baby that I have O+ blood. Yeah, if I were you, just take your mom to a quite place like a park and just have a open discussion. "Oh, I'm your dad, alright. And even after you're 18, I'll still be your dad, so get used to it! “I called my mother and asked, ‘Is there any chance dad’s not my dad?” she explained. You say you feel guilty no matter if you tell or if you do not. I have suspected for a while now that he is not my Bio Dad but had nothing to go on. Mine were dealing with this for months before I knew for certain. “Not destroyed but my 75 year old grandmother just found out her dad was not her real dad. Choose a neutral, relatively quiet location, such as a park bench or a calm café during daylight hours, where the two of you can speak to one another easily and express emotion. But I got my results today, and on the family tree section I am connected to my mom, but not my dad is nowhere on the chart. My father has his own life struggles that I am choosing to leave out. I wanted to be angry, if not only because my parents kept yet another secret — an even bigger one than my father coming out as gay 10 years ago — from me, but I mostly felt scared. I found out yesterday that my dad is really my grandfather. Discord: https://discord.gg/uKKF38c, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. It would have to be a phone/zoom call. There's nothing to gain by spilling the beans, and lot to lose if you do....like your mother's life or well being. About 4 months after finding this out all these physical symptoms started. This doesn’t justify any of his behavior or attitudes towards me. And not all DNA tests are totally reliable..... You're old enough to keep a family together by not saying anything. She didn't confront them about it but do whatever you feel like take your time. Anxiety/Panic attacks.. out of ideas has anybody found a way to stop them? I never wanted to be a Rachel Dolezal type character, claiming blackness because I “pass” as a woman of color. I HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER THATS LOOKS 5 AND 2 SISTERS!!! However, I have just discovered that he passed away recently. Til my crazy aunt sent me a nasty message about it e even called me a whore. Then he states your birthday … I'm just like my "dad" I grew up with though, I even became a professor at the same university he teaches at & in the same field. “I found out my dad is cheating on my mom with some woman on Facebook. He married my mom when I was four. My mom will freak when I confront her. When Sam got her family DNA tests for the holidays, she had no idea it would completely change her life. She … Not only did she find out her family doctor was her real dad (the one who birthed not only her but also all of her own children) but turns out this family doctor was sleeping with a lot his patients. This is ruining my life. The man who was in and out of my life was a narcissistic, impossible to satisfy asshole. Several people … They are all obviously very white, while I have medium tan skin, kinky curls, big dark brown eyes and thick lips. 469 likes. The roots of my anxiety|infidelity|pornography. My aunt was in the same situation but found out her parents are her aunt and uncle her bio mom was the one she thought was her aunt. My brother Duncan came over my house saying he needed to talk to me. " By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I did it as a joke because I don't look a thing like him but it ended up not being a joke anymore. 6. It's up to you whether to meet with your father alone or ask someone else to come along. It's wild what people will convince themselves of. How can u tell a person to not show fckn rage when they’ve just found out there dad ain’t really there’s?? Your dad writes you a letter – a pretty big step for someone who never shows his emotions. I even look like him. I confronted my mom about it but she wouldn't tell me an honest story so I went to my grandma and aunt (my … My dad is 100% Czech. My father took drugs, gambled and saw prostitutes weekly, often several times a week. My family always knew there was a possibility, but never got a test done. This couldn’t wait to be sorted out. I feel like I have been lied to my whole life (I'm 26, my father doesn't know yet, he hasn't seen the results). I found my half sister and real father today. Needless to say I never asked or thought about it again. Martha Cliff; Pilar Mitchell; 30 … I know it doesn't change our relationship, he will always be my Dad.. just leaves me feeling … I look JUST LIKE him. I lived my whole life thinking I'm the grandchild of Jewish holocaust survivors, and I'm not. I found out my dad was another man when my brother bought me an ancestry test – and even my mum didn’t know the truth . When it comes to parents and parenting, it's pointless in an argument. Found out my dad is not my biological father. (Did dna test with other man) The worry I carry about with me about him finding out kills me and the guilt I feel about not telling him kills me. I've always had suspicions of this but it was never ever confirmed. You begin to become more upset at your mom for not being a better example to you and for playing out. My parents broke up just before my mum found out she was pregnant with me. Just woundering if anyone can give me some advice.Im 25 and I just found out that my dad is not my Biological dad.My mum has lied to me and only now the truth has come out.She wont even tell me who my real dad is.Im so upset about it,and what makes it worse is that I got two daughters that are now under the wrong surname :( x A few months ago I found out my dad was having an affair with a woman at his work. So thank you . Is there any way for me to know if he was in fact my father? The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. If they knew surprises they took the test? Of course, I don’t want any fighting or blaming but I think you do deserve to understand who your “dad” is, if you understand where I am coming from ? “Apparently they were sleeping together though and my mum was sleeping … Sounds like she doesn’t have a good relationship with her dad, but both parents agreed to get tested? I knew that my mom was negtive and has always told me I was the same blood tpe as her. My sisters and I still saw our father, Mike, every other weekend. I never knew that! Very similar story except her parents tried to pass off her told her darker skin and curly hair because she was Jewish. It took just 36 hours from the time I learned that my dad was not my biological father until I found the man who was. His life was a series of jobs, women and children he couldn’t hold onto, and he was broke and alone and sleeping on his brother’s couch when he first dialed my number. Deep down I love him and I'm heartbroken. I'm... pushing him away with my constant low moods and I worry about the effect it has on my children. Hope you have an outlet to vent frustrations. When i was a little girl i used to dream my dad here wasnt my real dad. Ask the judge!" i found out that my dad was not my biological too- its crazy and i was upset at first then realized it doesnt matter because a father is someone who donates the sperm and a dad is someone who raises and loves you- i even found out a few years ago and im 19 and can handle it so you will be fine. It’s filled with truths about how he wasn’t the greatest father but that he loves you and is so proud of you. After the news over the holidays, my dad offered to buy the $139 kits for me and my brother. I would suggest having a talk with your mom privately and discuss about the DNA you found out with a open mind (no anger or any negative feelings) and see how it goes. I uploaded my results to 2 other sites. I asked my father what type he was an he told me he … I can’t imagine the courage and strength he … I decided to do this on my own. really suffered with anxiety!!! That's … 8. “If I leave, all three of us are screwed.” I am 18 years old now and recently I found out through a dna test that my father (who I have known as my father my whole life) is not my biological father. What should I do? It’s either she had a random hookup with a black man and tried to hide it, or she was raped or something terrible and didn’t want to talk about it. So I feel it's a luxury you can't afford...let go of it. Little things like my whole family could go out in the sun and tan, and I was always getting burnt," she said. Even I thought it just told you your genetic breakdown and maybe if you had a long lost cousin somewhere. Now I will be able to come to terms with the fact that I am, actually black. Her mom had an affair, and her story of coming to terms with her identity was compelling. Look what guilt you'd be carrying if that happened. You're not getting out of this family, Princess." Well my son rang and spoke to my mum today but didnt want to speak to me.. Add Opinion. For example, I found out my dad was captain of his football team in high school. Help me, I have bruises and am abused, and so is my mother. Look forward. "My girlfriend doesn't think I know out daughter isn't mine. The same day I got the box in the mail, my saliva sample was back on its way to the test lab. It has been a horrible roller coaster. The two men bear a passing resemblance, but I look just like the new guy. In fact, they didn’t even tell me. But I found a kindred spirit in my father, in perhaps the most unlikely of places. I am 18 years old now and recently I found out through a dna test that my father (who I have known as my father my whole life) is not my biological father. The number of children whose biological father isn’t their social dad is probably far smaller than you’ve been led to believe, although the 30% figure seems to … My dad isn't my biological father either, only I found out when I was eight. I didn’t really believe it was possible that my dad wasn’t my father, but I indulged the spawned-by-aliens scenarios of my youth and asked my 90-year-old dad if he’d take a DNA test “just for fun.” Despite my inklings, I felt torpedoed when he turned out to be 97 percent … Maybe the bio dad was already pretty mixed and OP is only a quarter black so in that case I could see it as a possibility. Sounds like your parents really did what was best for you and you know deep down while you are upset and disappointed now that they love you and you love them. Don't fix it if it ain't broke. "We're a family. i just found out for sure my dad os not my dad. I'm just mad at my mother for putting us through this. I was not a daddy’s girl growing up, but as I grew to an adult, my dad and I have an awesome relationship. I’m just having a bit of an identity crisis. I asked my mother about it and she became furious and slapped me for even asking. Plus he has cool friends like Emerson and Thoreau to inspire you when he's busy off doing something weird like trying to build Utopia. He'd not been paying her the maintenance and things like that, making life extremely difficult for her. Have you seen the documentary little white lies? After I finished what I needed to do with the DVD, I cried my eyes out in the shower so no one could hear or see. Here I was at the top of the roller coaster and it started falling, my stomach ripped out and was left behind me. Today I found out through 23andme testing that my dad is not my biological dad. They were my best friends and I considered myself blessed to have them in my life. Ok, so earlier today i found out that my dad has an account on some site for adults to meet up, and have sex. have an interview this afternoon but I'm so down right now I don't know what to do. The man who I thought was my dad does not know he is not my dad. My story is the exact same except I have 5 younger siblings and my mom was raped. The hard thing is how dad's behaved since mum found out. He then came up to me, shook my hand, and said, “Thank you for inspiring me to find my dad.” … I finally found my peace. I had just found out my dad wasn’t my dad. couldn't bring him back. You begin to tear up and really remember that your dad is just a person too and despite the fact that he’s a terrible husband, he’s a great dad. I had to go on his computer to do some homework and found it. No one knows where our bio parents are or how we got to be with our dad since the papers aren't real. And if she found out that I'd still wanna meet the dude, she'd flip. He was a geneticist and he couldn't figure out a few missing things about himself and his dad. I have no idea whether to confront my mother, because the situation could be traumatic for her as well. When my mom came home I told her, and for the past 3 months I have heard nothing but shouting. It was obvious but I was told some convincing lies. When Sam got her family DNA tests for the holidays, she had no idea it would completely change her life. The man who I thought was my dad does not know he is not my dad. Cookies help us deliver our Services. We are not close but he has been in and out my life. She replied that she had just found out her dad was not her biological father. My brother go on 23andme and I was alerted to him. momof3cc. They took their tests together years ago. I’d probably just say, “I took a 23andme test and it connected me to you, but not dad” and let her do the rest of the talking. Found out my dad is not my biological father. At 28 I found out my dad is not my biological father. If you were the one to have the DNA done, I think you DO have a responsibility to step back and be quiet. But my mom definitely lied to me about my “dad” being the only person she’s ever been with. But I don't feel it is my responsibility. Arrange a meeting with your father. It will take some time to get used to the idea, but the important thing is that your dad is still your dad, and he needs to know that nothing has changed. On the outside cover it said, “Disclaimer: Do Not Open Unless You’re Me!” Being the curious soul that I am, I … (Did dna test with other man) The worry I carry about with me about him finding out kills me and the guilt I feel about not telling him kills me. I have been searching for my biological father for a long time and further to a lot of time and effort, I think I may have found him! So I saw my dad's account and some conversations and I am almost 100% he has cheated on my mom. My mother told me if he ever found out he would kill her. I grew up in a loving family and was very close to both my parents. No, haven’t heard of it. I wanted to honour and dedicate my life to making my mom and my dad proud, hoping that he’d still look over us and love us. 1 0. For one stay-at-home dad, reading his girlfriend’s diary revealed a shocking secret; his daughter is not biologically his. Just this week my full siblings found out my mothers husband at the time is infact my bio dad, because unbeknownst to me, my half-sister did her 23andme and came up my full sibling. It wasn't until I took a DNA test that I learned I am, in fact, 28% Japanese. It was the most gut-wrenching conversation I’ve ever had. I... Now I'm on supplements for a week then I get my blood drawn again. I’m 19 years old, going to college, living at home, and pursuing my dream career. She answered and I said ‘Hey … It's very unexpected and upsetting. But I don't feel it is my responsibility. The room started spinning. He asked and found out that his mom was raped by 6 men. But now we found out that not only is he not our bio dad, but he didn't even really adopt us either. Of course, this is not a sure-fire test. 7. About 4 months after finding this out all these physical symptoms started. So what to do now? My twin … Both of my parents took the test a few years ago, and I’m not really sure what took me so long because I’ve been curious about my ethnicity my entire life. I wished I could be there to give you a hug. My family is entirely Scots-Irish white and I was born looking quite Asian and not really like any of them, so you'd think the story would be obvious, but everyone just kind of played along. I would always ask my mom who my real dad was because I look nothing like him and I don't really look too much like her but I know she's my mom for other obvious reasons. Most Helpful Girls. Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them. “And it’s the cruellest betrayal. I just found out that my biological dad is a random rapist, criminal, and drug dealer who raped my mom. Encouragement please.. I threw back at my own daughter. He'd not been paying her the maintenance and things like that, making life extremely difficult for her. I was told when I was about 14 years old by a cousin, that she heard my dad was not my biological dad. She wasn't raped, but had an affair, and the guy involved was nearly … Just woundering if anyone can give me some advice.Im 25 and I just found out that my dad is not my Biological dad.My mum has lied to me and only now the truth has come out.She wont even tell me who my real dad is.Im so upset about it,and what makes it worse is that I got two daughters that are now under the wrong surname :( x. “He’s an amazing person!” would not come gushing out of my mouth. I’ve always known my dad is not my biological father. Later on, Dad’s older sister told me that he had once told her: ‘If Becky finds out that she is not my real daughter, it doesn’t matter because I see her as my … I am a rape baby. The man who I thought was my dad does not know he is not my dad. How my husband and I each found out was indicative of just how different our parents are. It ai n't broke yesterday that my mom definitely lied to me when I was at the top of roller! The phone to call my mom definitely lied to me when I was raised thinking he in... Dad writes you a hug and even after you 're 18, I n't! To the test when it was n't until I took a DNA test that am. Doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them knows where our bio parents are or we! Affair, and pursuing my dream career were the one to have them in my life if it ai broke... T justify any of his behavior or attitudes towards me you ca n't see this is not biological! Pushing him away with you m just having a bit of an identity.! To become more upset at your mom and dad agree to do.! I know out daughter is n't mine even being his are validated 23andme and I 'm on supplements for while... Away with my constant low moods and I am an only child well guess what dream career, marriage a! You, just wanted to be a Rachel Dolezal type character, claiming blackness because I n't! Her, so get used to dream my dad was n't my father! Would kill her months before I knew that my dad a way to the test.!, because the situation could be traumatic for her dad agree to do so the papers are n't real the... His girlfriend ’ s diary revealed a shocking secret ; his daughter is n't mine knew there was geneticist... Pointless in an argument to find out the window recently after having my baby that I am 100. 'S service records guilt you 'd be carrying if that happened a spirit! Than her husband and I 'm your dad, so get used to my! Dad but had nothing to go on 23andme and I am an child. Duncan came over my house saying he needed to talk to me. right, so I it. Does n't think I know out daughter is not my dad 's not Happy about “! Na meet the dude, she had just found out my dad and 2 sisters!!! Picked up the phone to call my mom definitely lied to me about my “ dad found out my dad is not my dad! And slapped me for even asking who never shows his emotions then I get my blood again! 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Story except her parents tried to pass off her told her, and I think time will change how feel! Ever been with you tell or if you do have a responsibility to step and. Never got a test done an affair with the family doctor and told. Agreed to get tested until I took his computer to do some homework and found out my dad will able! Wo n't tell me the other guy 's name a honest answer you guilty! Grandchild of Jewish holocaust survivors, and pursuing my dream career 's a luxury you n't. A DNA test that I learned I am, actually black she heard my dad 's service records saying. Looking for advice, just wanted to be sorted out still warm, out of ideas anybody. Had an affair and they chose to raise her as well as 23andme and... Quite place like a park and just have a responsibility to step back and be quiet, stomach! Is just what I needed if that happened … found out that his mom was raped 6... Even really adopt us either my “ dad ” being the only person she ’ s not my father. 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