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</html>";s:4:"text";s:11540:"Hebrews 13:2, ESV Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. 1. Ephesians 5:8-11 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. I said, âI will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.â. You wonât find it there. There are many Bible verses that extol peace, justice, honesty, mercy, wisdom, altruism, and other basic human virtues, and in fact, Iâve written a whole article about verses I find excellent. Historical context: In verse 23, the prophet Elisha is on his way to Bethel when a bunch of youths start teasing him, "Go on up, you baldhead!â. No doubt about it. The 13 funniest Bible verses 1) 1 Samuel 28:7 âThen Saul told his officers, âFind me a woman who can talk to the spirits of the dead. Insanity. You will build a house, but you will not live in it. Iâve also heard the bald head verse discussed in Sunday school, but thatâs 1 out of 10, and there are dozens of other strange verses that could have taken its place. Heaven and Hell. Bible verses about being different If you think about it we are all different. Psalm 118 is the middle chapter of the entire Bible. This bible verse is the most out of place line ive ever found, and basically reverse-engineers greek mythology into the bible.â. 97. 9. To those who donât know God, the message of the gospel is folly. King James Bible (kjv) World English Bible (web) Sayings of Jesus. the Song of Solomon. Ezekiel 4:12-15. Bible Verses About Being Happy: Inspirational Scriptures About Joy And Happiness. At the end of the list is a funny video from John Crist on the Bible Verse Lady. So next time you are feeling like your best isnât good enough, think back to these 9 encouraging bible verses and remember just how worthy you are! Ecclesiastes 2:24 - There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. So long as we live here and walk in the selfless love of Christ, we really will be like weird aliens to those around us. Ooh. O Lucifer, son of the morning! Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire. 2:16, but check that verse out in ESV. What better way to start off your week? Psalm 119, after Psalm 118 is the longest chapter in the Bible. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. As promised, weâve put together a list of funny Bible verses. 5. Psalm 117, before Psalm 118 is the shortest chapter in the Bible. God is Love. Philippians 4:6-7. 19 Weirdest Bible Verses. 2. Dec 5, 2019 Nov 10, 2015 by Editor in Chief. We are called to be the salt and light to the world, and making people laugh with wholesome, morally sound jokes can show them that it is not necessary to be raunchy and vulgar to make people laugh. It is a stumbling block to Jews, insanity to Muslims, and stupidity to atheists. "No dudes with crushed testicles," sayeth the LORD. By Tim Kiser Leave a Comment-The content of this website often contains affiliate links and I may be compensated if you buy through those links (at no cost to you!). Thatâs the point of the list. Psalm 138:1-2, ESV I give you thanks, O LORD, with my whole heartâ¦I bow down toward your holy temple and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. * Thereâs 1 Samuel 18:20â27 where Saul tries to kill David by requiring David to provide 100 Philistine foreskins as a dowry to marry his daughter and David goes out and kills 200 Philistines to bring back 200 foreskins. Bible verses talking about aliens often interchange the term with âforeignersâ, âstrangersâ or âsojournersâ, depending on which Bible version you are using. First of all, we have to realize that the crown is a metaphor here. Letâs see. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. Bible always paints the Philistines as imbeciles and morons. 10. Psalm 62:1 â Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.â. 1 Samuel 6:4-5. As people were crying out and cutting themselves with swords for their god, Elijah mocked them saying that their god is probably taking a sh*t. Proverbs 31:6 10. There are talking animals, giants, crazy curses, poop, strange prophets, and so much more. Jude 1:7. _____ #1 â Psalm 137:9 âHappy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.â Whoa! He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Encouraging Bible Verses "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. Whether youâre religious or not, the Bible can be a great source when you're looking for reassuring scripture about hope or are looking for some encouraging verses about strength. God created us all with unique features, personalities, and traits. (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Learn more about how we make money.Last edited November 16, 2020. Unfortunately, many men know the feeling of wanting to rip their hair straight out of their heads the moment their partner starts going on about something. 10. Proverbs 21:9 seems to be the ultimate nod in the direction of the husband who has to put up with a constant nagging and bickering spouse. You asked for 100 foreskins? See more ideas about bible verses, verses, bible. How you are cut down to the ground, . âLet your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.â ~ Matthew 5:16, KJV. And more specifically, the Bible is home to more than a few gems about the value of our little ones. Conclusion. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Bible Verses About Being Blessed And Thankful. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.â. Then there are those verses even some of the most literal readers of the Bible ignore because they are just too inconvenient. See more ideas about bible verses, verses, bible quotes. For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. Dec 27, 2018 - Explore joy TAYLOR's board "Bible verses on friendship" on Pinterest. The 14 Weirdest Moments In The Bible. This bible verse may seem weird at first, but once you dissect it, it actually makes a lot of sense! Utter ridiculousness. However, there is some less than known scripture that can be found between the pages of the Bible. 4:14 âAnd Cain knew his wife.â Except the only woman on earth was Eve his mother. Is your wife a drip? Let these verses encourage you when you are exhausted. 3. Noah had three sons when he was 500 years old For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. Matthew 7:21-23 Kind of sad that even many people who think they are serving God will be condemned according to the Bible. Proverbs 27:15. You who weakened the nations!â. Matthew 11:28-29 âCome to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Live as children of light. May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. 1. Apr 17, 2020 - Explore Breann Bauer's board "Bible verses about stress" on Pinterest. The Bible is crazy weird sometimes. Bible verses related to Having Fun from the King James Version (KJV) by Relevance. Genesis 22:20-21. 2 Kings 2:23-24. Genesis 4:17. Death of King Saul was funny, he didn't want to be abused and tortured by his uncircumsized invaders. Psalms 139:14 - I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. BIZARRE AND FUNNY BIBLE VERSES âWhen two men are fighting and the wife of one of them intervenes to drag her husband clear of his opponent, if she puts out her hand and catches hold of the man by his privates, you must cut off her hand and show her no mercy.â â Deut. And what we are now isnât even close to ⦠Cain is worried after killing Abel and says, âEvery one who finds me shall slay me.â This is a strange concern since there were only two other humans alive at the time â his parents! Many Christians are familiar with the wide selection of Bible verses highlighted during their Sunday Mass. (NIV) The vast majority of the Bible's sexy material comes from the Song of Songs, a.k.a. #4 of 10 Funny but true quotes from the Bible ~ Think before you speak. The Bible has 594 chapters before Psalm 118 and 594 chapters after Psalm 118. Bible verses related to Being Unique from the King James Version (KJV) by Relevance. Give thanks to God because He created you to do great things. â Proverbs 27:15 NIV. Below, you will find some of the weirdest Bible verses ever translated. Being grounded in Godâs word is the BEST way to kick that awful feeling of never enoughness to the curb for GOOD! Proverbs 12:4 â âA wife of noble character is her husbandâs crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.â. - Sort By Book Order. â Isaiah 14:12 (NKJV) To tempt us to be like God is an easy temptation for Satan, since this was ⦠After reflecting on these scriptures about decision making, we put together a guide to help you better understand Godâs will ⦠These verses⦠they make me wanna curl up in a ball and cry theyâre so bizarre. You will never accomplish those great things by being the same ⦠Your kids will love this list of the 45 weirdest things in the Bible. To help you know Godâs will, make biblical decisions, and overcome decision anxiety, we poured over 76 Bible passages about decisions, choices, and wisdom. Apocrypha. âLuke 16:22-25 (Hell and heaven are within viewing distance of each other.) âGet out of here, baldy!â. Iâll go to her and find out whatâs going to happen.ââ 25:11 âLook, I have two daughters, virgins both of them. Instead, let your light shine! A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day. . That's kinda homo if he saw all his invader's dicks before he died and CTB'd because of some dirty foreskin. Ezekiel 23:20 NIV. 1. So here are the Top 10 Funniest Bible Verses (IMHO). A dog eating his vomit, how gross! Bible Verses about Satan: How you are fallen from heaven, . You will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and rape her. 2.) Those words are actually in some translations in Mal. Or verses about streaking, death or circumcision, all of which make for rather strange verses. Down below you will find all the verses and which translation they go with. âGet out of here, baldy!â they said. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God. LOL. Stupidity. Well, Iâve heard âGod hates divorceâ as being attributed to the Bible. 50 Bible Verses About Gratitude. The Bible has some really good verses on entertainment and fun, and I hope these jokes were entertaining and fun to read! 4. 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