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</html>";s:4:"text";s:30049:"Kindness is always in style, but being a pushover can hurt you in many different ways. Resentment will build and that relationship will break down. Being too nice can hurt your career. The more you are in alignment with your truth, the less anger, resentment, and frustration you will have. It’s one thing to be there for someone who is having a hard time, to offer some support and kindness in a trying moment. You’re the first to share your belongings if it’ll help someone and you get a feeling of satisfaction when you can offer help. The world can be a dark place where positivity and kindness are hard to find…. No one likes to be taken advantage of. You’re constantly hearing from others, “You need to stand up for yourself”. Most people would say that you can never be too nice, and this is normally accurate. Let us know in the comments below. So, what’s the verdict? …yet, there are many nice people out there who try to take on that darkness by letting their own kind light shine. Instead, be aware that you may experience this type of response and be prepared to deal with it ahead of time. This can also turn into apologizing for things that aren’t your fault or even apologizing for something that’s completely out of anyone’s control. If you’re wondering, “I really don’t understand why I got dumped for being too nice,” it could be because you believe that “niceness” is the main thing that women need from a man, to be happy in a relationship. So here are 10 ways being too nice can hurt you and learn how to be kind instead. However, it can be easy to lose sight of the rest of the world if your circle becomes too closed off. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with being nice to your woman. Some people are too nice to ever say “no”. Everyone wants to be treated with respect and kindness. The nice thing to do is to keep giving them one more chance, but you can end up frustrating the team (and yourself) by perpetually dealing with a bad fit. Be nice to the world, if that’s what you want to put into it, but don’t forget to treat yourself just as well as you treat others. "You can never be too nice to people, but you must nonetheless, be vigilant, as some will see it as a sign of weakness and try to take advantage of you," warns Quora user Christopher Kosel in one representative answer. These people should be kept at a safe distance if not removed from your life altogether. Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You Past friendships can still hurt you. Being too nice can actively damage your life, but an understanding of the challenges that go along with it can keep you from being harmed while you try to put something positive into the world. They may not be all that empathetic or sympathetic to the needs of others. I'm sure you have the best of intentions when it comes to being nice, but too much kindness can end up creating some problems. Sometimes you have to cause a disturbance if it means not being treated with respect. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. But people who are highly agreeable are often too nice. 19/11/2015. Nice people need to be assertive. The title immediately caught my attention, and I had to take a look. It’s okay to accept responsibility for your own choices and actions, both positive and negative, but nice people must be wary of not taking on emotional responsibilities that do not belong to them. It’s extremely easy to get swept up in the negativity and problems of other people and pulled along with them. 6 Ways Being “Too Nice” Can Hurt You. So here are 10 ways being too nice can hurt you and learn how to be kind instead. They may throw so much of their time and energy into the niceness they are giving to others that they may not address or take care of their own needs. The next time you find yourself apologizing for the rainy weather, you might need to address that you have a personal problem on your hands. Giving 100 percent in all you do isn’t enough—you’re always striving for more. You’re always putting those closest to you before yourself. People who are looking for an edge will often hone in on nice people, because nice often coincides with soft, especially if you’re in an environment where nice does not coincide with normal conduct in that environment. How To Look Pretty For Your Boyfriend From Head To Toe, 8 Winter Clothes That Will Make Your Man Sweat. Try to be aware of your actions toward others over the next few days and see if you notice any of these warning signs in your behavior. Is Taking Things Slow Good For Your Relationship? You can’t constantly pour niceness and kindness into the cups of others without eventually depleting yourself. She studies journalism at Ohio University and is always up for a challenge, as long as coffee is involved. It’s okay to be courteous, polite, and professional so long as you can ensure your interests are protected and secure. By Guy Harris 1 Comment. Voice your intentions, if you have any, toward the other person. For instance, if you've been letting your loved ones smoke around you, or weave in and out of traffic with no regard for your neck problems, your too-nice nature could hurt you. I agree that there is no point in holding grudges but there are many people who will use you for it. Predators go for nice people because they are often easy to steamroll, manipulate, don’t ask the right questions, don’t establish boundaries and enforce them, and have a hard time watching other people suffer. 1 Samuel 11: 1 – 15. What does suffering have to do with it? They are supposed to be reciprocal and mutually beneficial in some way. People will go through a lot of positive and negative situations. The nice person needs to be wary of the phrase, “I’m sorry,” to ensure that they are not apologizing for things that are not their fault and smoothing out emotions that the other person should be working on themselves. People can take advantage of you if you are this way.  7 Signs He Will (And 7 He Won’t! However, one can be too nice and when you're too nice, people tend to take advantage of you — women included. There are many different ways to be in an unhealthy relationship, and not all of them are centered around abuse, or … Again, this is a golden quality to have in a person and professional. The manipulator tends to leave out their role in all of these things, how they acted to others, whether they were showing up for and actually doing their job, if they offered any type of support or help to their friends. There are those who devote so much energy to being nice to other people as a form of self-medication to avoid confronting their own problems. Unfortunately, people aren’t always nice, so giving everyone the benefit of the doubt runs the risk of being proven wrong later on. Copyright © 2019. We all do. If you are failing exams and being lazy, that won't affect the teacher, it will affect you. People starts taking advantage of you – one of the disadvantages of being too nice is that everyone will see you as weak and inferior. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case, and it’s not always necessary. Yes, it’s an issue that more people deal with than you may think. It’s okay to consider yourself someone who is nice to others and enjoys doing so. People may also think there is something that is wrong with you, that you’re only being nice to take advantage of them or to mask an ulterior motive. A naive person will feel bad for that person without scrutiny, not questioning their motives or inconsistencies. If this sounds like you, you’re probably being too nice … Teachers are here to help you and they want to help you do the best you can do. And by tangible responsibilities, we are talking about the activities that go on in your life, being volunteered for activities without anyone consulting you because they assume you’ll agree to it, or accepting more than your fair share of work. "It is always in your favor to be nice; it is rarely advantageous to be passive," Quora user Courtney Bryant wrote recently on the question-and-answer site, adding:… Kayla Blanton. Nice can be a hindrance in competitive environments like the workplace and business, particularly if you make the mistake of thinking that the person opposite you will treat you with the same amount of niceness or respect. Too nice? That may take some time until the other person can see that you are genuine in your actions and demeanor. "Too nice" is the person who is afraid to say no. Resentment is a poisonous feeling that can slowly erode the foundation of friendships and trust. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Nice people need to do that for themselves to some degree, too. A commonly used manipulative technique is to paint oneself as the victim in this cruel world. Christmas isn’t your favorite holiday because you receive gifts, but because you get pleasure in handing them out. This puts them in a position to be manipulated. A genuine misunderstanding will generally include an apology and an attempt to rectify the behavior. Next thing you know, you may look around and see that years have passed without making meaningful progress on your problems that would allow you to find peace of mind and happiness. ), © Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Yin Yang Synastry LLC. 576 unsplash Usually, I'm the friend who is always trying to make sure that everyone around me feels good. You don’t really expect niceness or kindness from them right now because they are struggling and trying to keep their head above the water. The ability to survive, thrive, and live in a healthy way is found in balancing these facets of the human condition. Saying “I’m sorry” is a nice person’s way of admitting wrong and trying to fix a problem. Being too nice during your divorce can cost you…money, assets and even the kids. A nice person can be a welcome breath of fresh air in the right circumstances. Spineless, pushover, doormat, people-pleaser… Have you been called any of these unfortunate nicknames? People who are too nice and compassionate can be exploited by others who do not care about their feelings, respect their time, or their responsibilities. Share on Facebook. By all means, apologize when you’ve done wrong or regretful actions, but don’t apologize for things that are not your fault or responsibility. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Privacy Policy, 10 Ways Being Too Nice Will End Badly For You, view unwarranted niceness as suspicious behavior, The Causes, Traits, And Types Of Self-Destructive Behavior, 12 Examples Of Approval-Seeking Behavior (+ How To Drop Your Need For Validation), How To Show Respect For Others (+ Why It’s Important In Life), How To Say No To People (And Not Feel Bad About It), accept responsibility for your own choices and actions, apologize when you’ve done wrong or regretful actions. In the case of niceness, it can start to grow if the nice person is pouring too much of themselves in another person without an appropriate reciprocation. Here’s How To Decide If It’s Over Or Not. The easiest way to counter this is to pay attention, listen for inconsistencies, and question them. Nice people attract narcissists, manipulators, and users. "Too nice" is the person who I used to be (and still am, sometimes). Dream Moods Interpretation: What Do Your Dreams Really Mean? All Rights reserved, The Fool-Proof Way to Make Any Man Commit To You. Although some may think so, it’s not completely shameful and selfish to put your own personal needs before those of others. Don’t waste your breath apologizing for something that’s small and irrelevant or something that wasn’t even your fault to begin with. 14 Sexy Valentine’s Day Looks To Spice Up The Night, The 15 Best Double Umbrella Strollers: Mom’s 2019 Review & Buyer’s Guide, How A ‘Girl’ Becomes A Woman (Your little guide). When It Keeps You From Being Honest Photo by Bryson Hammer on Unsplash As an INFP, I have a natural inclination to keep the peace. In the wrong circumstances, however, they can attract negative attention. They may be genuinely oblivious to their own behavior or they may actively not care. It’s good to surround yourself with kind and nice people, but it’s not so good to lose sight of the difficult nature of humanity and the rest of the world. Unfortunately, there is a tremendous amount of suffering, negativity, and selfishness in the world. Listen up, all you people pleasers. You might even see a talented employee leave out of frustration. A kind, nice person who does not have solid boundaries to shelter behind is going to find themselves worse off. Ideally, as a nice person, you’ll find yourself surrounded by other nice and kind people as you erect and enforce your boundaries well. You can be seen as a pushover and someone that cannot be trusted to manage others. This page contains affiliate links. We could all strive to be nice and put that kindness into the world, but we must also balance that with ensuring we don’t get treated poorly in the process. It’s not that the world is a terrible place or that there is no room for niceness. 12 Aphrodisiac Foods For Spicing Up Your Romance, 5 Deliciously Romantic Meals To Cook For Him, Easy Romantic Desserts That Will Sweep Him Off His Feet, Romantic Winter Getaways To Enjoy With Your Partner, Romantic Fall Getaways – Cool Destinations For Couples, 15 Beach Essentials You Should Pack For Your Vacation, 15 Romantic Movies To Look Forward To This Year, 10 Fall Cocktail Recipes For The Holiday Lover In All Of Us, How He Proposed To Me Thanks To Capricorn Man Secrets, Scorpio Man Secrets – The Book That Saved My Relationship, Everything I Know About My Man I Owe To Gemini Man Secrets, How Virgo Man Secrets Taught Me To Understand Him, Life Tips: Overcoming Bitterness In 8 Simple Steps, How To Overcome Insecurity: All You Need To Know, How To Say No: Why And When You Should Say It, 15 Websites You Can’t Afford not to Know About. 2. We are dedicated to creating fresh, straightforward and unique advice for women that doesn’t just inform, but also teaches and excites you. People will often test your boundaries, pushing to see how much they can get away with until you finally decide to push back to prevent being treated in an unacceptable way. That can turn into a problem for a nice person if they start to shoulder problems and emotions that are not theirs to carry. Yes, it’s an issue that more people deal with than you may think. This is a quality that is redeeming at times when standing up for yourself could get you into trouble, but it’s important not to allow others to walk all over you. How Being Too Nice Can Hurt You. Kayla Blanton. Whether it be your family, friends or coworkers, you tend to put your needs on the backburner without even realizing it. “No.” is a complete sentence that nice people must learn. Under certain circumstances, it’s okay to believe in second chances, but it’s important to be smart and consider the context. Olivia Bishop. Just tell them you haven't been trying your hardest and you realize that you need to do better, because this is your life. It’s an identity that many hide behind out of personal fears and anxieties, but realizing these qualities is the first step towards more balanced and rewarding relationships with all. However, people who are “too nice” tend to work harder to make up for others’ lack of work. You feel the need to apologize for every mistake you might make from bumping into someone at the office to forgetting to return a phone call. And if you don’t, be patient with the person so they get a chance to feel you out and arrive at their comfort level. We all do. That also depends on the context of a situation. Remember, that if you are highly agreeable, you want other people to like you. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying providing for others. It’s part of our feminine quality. Being overly nice is also a form of manipulation; an attempt to get what you want by displaying unwarranted affection. You may also like (article continues below): A grounded perspective on the world we live in is necessary to ensure we maintain a healthy, balanced mindset. If this carries on unchecked, then you can burn out and fall into a deep depression. We can fall into a false sense of security and complacency, offering too much out to people that may not respect or return the same niceness, and find ourselves hurt in the process. It’s an admirable desire and quality in any person. A person who is too nice wants to avoid conflict at all times, and in their minds, those two words are a quick fix to everything. There are times when it is good or necessary to provide additional justification, particularly if you’re trying to find a middle ground with people you are close to. People Will Take You for Granted When you are being nice, there may be a deep-rooted sense that people will treat you exactly the way you treat them. Agreeable people are more comfortable to have around and are easier to work with; this is why employers prefer and look for agreeable people to hire. That doesn’t mean you should stop being nice! Yes, being too forgiving can be a bad thing. If you are around people for very long, you will end up hurt by someone. Staying healthy and happy is vital to a balanced lifestyle. Being too nice is a quick way to be swamped with an unmanageable amount of tangible responsibilities. Before you know it, you’ve spent all your extra money on your roommate’s milk and eggs and can’t afford the haircut you really need. YouQueen.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Get a verified expert to help you with Is There a Price for Being too Nice? You can be assertive without being too nice. Except when being “too nice” can actually hurt you more than it helps. Hire verified expert $35.80 for a 2-page paper. There are times when nice is not the appropriate thing, particularly when it comes to preserving the sanctity of your personal space, peace of mind, and happiness. When you give up yourself, though, to morph into other peoples’ expectations, that’s when you enter the danger zone. Here's a … Being too nice can be bad for your relationship. However, people who you are not close to where compromise isn’t required, or those who are taking advantage of you should never get more than a “no.”, Justification offers a manipulative person a potential in-road to inject self-doubt and undermine your “no.”. People often look out for themselves, not their fellow man. We strive to help you grow in all aspects of life. The Way To Talk To Your Guy About Starting A Family, Bored In A Relationship? People who are both nice and naive often want to see the best in other people, even people where their best doesn’t come close to overshadowing their negative. Maybe they are a person who is having a hard time that you’re trying to uplift and support. Of course you want people to like you. And that can be a huge problem. You can sympathize with another person’s story, but don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. But what happens when they finally move their mind into a better place and decide not to reciprocate when the nice person needs some support? Quite often, they will then try to walk back their behavior by telling you that you just misunderstood, they didn’t mean it the way that they presented it, or that they were just joking. From love and health to finding your life’s purpose, advancing your career and designing a better lifestyle. Amope Pedi Perfect PRO In-depth Review – Is It Worth It? Being Too Nice Can Hurt You. That process of depletion is much quicker if the person is a friend or a significant other who is not pouring back into you. Friendships and relationships are a different thing altogether. Here's a list. Being too nice can actively damage your life, but an understanding of the challenges that go along with it can keep you from being harmed while you try to put something positive into the world. Your past patterns of dealing with being hurt are not those you want to continue.  Circumstances, however, one can being too nice can hurt you easy to lose sight of the human condition enjoys doing.. Before those of others dream Moods Interpretation: What do your Dreams really mean of... Employee leave out of frustration if it means not being treated with respect and kindness are to! The kids up hurt by someone any Man Commit to you few of the time, profiles and guides established. Those you want people to like you browser for the enigma that it is quick. 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